Riptide Wrestling - Let's Get Ready to Royal Rumble

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It was that time of the month again as last Friday night Brighton was the spotlight of the UK indie scene (sorry if there were other shows around the country) as Riptide Wrestling introduced a completely sold out Riptide Rumble.

However, whilst the 30 person over the rope match was the main event it was the only highlight as we had a no DQ match between Jinny and Jimmy Havoc, a rematch following the events of their fight at Riptide Spring Break when the Progress Women’s Champion just couldn’t go through a fucking table.

Elsewhere, we had lovers (fuck buddies?) David Starr against Jack Sexsmith. It what was hands down the match of the night and told a wonderful story ending in Starr winning because he’s David fucking Starr. The story continues into International Waters for Sexsmith after his battling defeat earned him a qualifier to be involved in August’s Brighton Championship tournament.

The night kicked off with Candyfloss (returning to the UK after a stint in Japan) taking on Chakara with Floss winning, but things went 90 degrees into the weird as Cara Noir (aka a shit looking member of KISS) came along to take out the babyface then sniffed and eat her pink hair.

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Because wrestling!

Spike Trivet vs Mike Bird followed up and after stripping for the very liberal crowd, Trivet proved once again that his British Strong and Stable style of wrestling is the right way of wrestling as he picked up the victory.

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Once Starr and Sexsmith blew the fucking roof off and a 10-minute break for me to spending £40 on yet other Starr tee and becoming a fan of Trivet’s bought a Money vs Everyone tee.

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After the break and getting feeling back in my right leg, the action resumed with a double tag team action. First up was Team Whitewolf vs Grizzled Young Veterans as the crowds letting Zac Gibson and James Drake know how they feel with some truly loving chants as Whitewolf retain the Attack! Pro Wrestling tag belts.

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The next tag between Money vs Everyone and Mills and Mayhem (seriously though Maverick Mayhem looks like a 12-year-old) and two minutes into the bout, the second rope collapsed making it both dangerous and hard for all four blokes to keep a story and work again.

MvE wins via a TKO as the incredibly ripped and handsome Chris Ridgeway battered Mayhem with a series of punches.

After another break to fix the ring, it was time for the no DQ match and having never seen Jinny wrestle live before the first thing I ever saw was her stapling Jimmy Havoc’s forehead and from that moment I knew she was an awesome woman.

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It becomes even more clear after she kicked out of a bodyslam through two chairs full of thumbtacks, which must’ve hurt like a bitch. Although, not nearly as much as Havoc double stumping onto thumbtacks.

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After Jinny picked up the win, Havoc congratulated his apprentice and announced at when Riptide announces Tag Team belts, they’ll become a team and going for them, with the three-day Brighton Championship event coming in a couple of months it seems to be the perfect time to introduce some sort of tag tournament too.

During the final break before the rumble and after blowing my mind I nervously went to Jinny’s stall (she just stapled and cheese grated his forehead I’m allowing myself to be nervous around her) I wanted to buy something in support of her career and even though I wanted to buy a £20 YAS QUEEN tee, I don’t think I could rock it, so I bought a lovely poster for a tenner and she was kind enough to sign it.

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This is the important thing, if you’re able to, it’s important to support these wonderful performers as it goes towards them able to pay for shit like petal or food or making more merch.

Anyway, the main event was beginning to start and it was utterly brilliant royal rumble mixing great wrestling, twists and comedy and sadly due to time I had to leave thinking TK Cooper was going to win after being the longest competitor in the rumble as well as eliminating the most wrestlers. To only find out that he didn’t win with Chuck Mambo earning himself an opportunity at the Brighton Championship.

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However, there was one final twist as a returning Eddie Dennis came into the ring declared he was fit to compete and Mambo will put his place in the Brighton Championship tournament on the line against Dennis at next month’s International Waters.

As always it was a great fucking night and being at the Brighthelm seriously helps with my anxiety so think you Riptide for even existing. The only downside was once I left I tipped on the curb outside and now my left knee hurts like a bastard and now I know how Havoc must’ve felt.